The race to be happy
How to know if you're winning?
While talking to my 20-year-old cousin, she asked if I was happy at 35. Quite a mature question for her age, but kids these days are like that only. I’m writing here what I told her.
You learn stuff from the strangest of places. I learned, probably the biggest lesson of my life, through Formula 1.
I switched on the race but there was no leaderboard displayed. There were cars moving around, in circles (laps) one after another and I couldn’t figure out who was leading. (Keep this picture in your head as you read ahead).
This short TV feed gave me the answer I was looking for at that time when I was feeling left behind in the corporate race.
Happiness is a relative term. You measure it against the success of your colleagues, college batchmates, your social circle, and your friends. There is no absolute happiness.
When I got my first job, it was easy. People who got a higher CTC were happier. So I could rank myself relative to the CTC of the batch and know how happy I was.
(Mr. A, B, and C are fictional. Don’t imagine things, please).
Then, on the day, I figured Mr. A, who had a lesser CTC got into Stand-up comedy and went viral. Still made less money than me, but was suddenly famous and influential. I got pipped on the overall happiness parameter. I was behind in the race.
Then Mr. B, who was way ahead in the CTC race went through a depressing phase. Now he was making truckloads of money but quite unhappy. So clearly drops behind in the happiness race.
Then Mr. C, who couldn’t even manage a job in college is now killing it at a hot start-up. He races past me in this race and I am a mere spectator.
Now, I saw myself overtaking Mr. A (the successful comic) because he is struggling with his health and I am thankful to God that I am not him.
I attempt a start-up and it doesn’t go as I imagined. Not I see my whole batch overtaking me along with their cats and dogs. I am bummed again.
I find a fantastic job and am quite satisfied with the work I do. Things are looking up. I suddenly cross a bunch of people.
This goes on. Good things & Bad things keep happening.
The above is my journey for 12 years. The race is still on.
But here’s the thing. It’s not a sprint.
It’s a lap race.
All you can do is keep running. You’ll never be able to know who is winning and who is losing. Because life makes you run in circles.
You don’t know if the guy ahead of you is actually a lap behind.
And you don’t know if the guy behind you is actually 4 laps ahead.
After a while, you’ll never know where you stand relative to the crowd.
When you see someone just acing it, you don’t know what’s killing them inside. When you see someone struggling with something, know that there’s something that will be working for him right now or maybe in the future.
It’s only at the finish line, you’ll truely know if you’ve won. And at that time, it won’t really matter.
So, just enjoy the race.
P.S: Oh, and then there is Mr. D, who parties in Manila and got married to a beautiful girl with blonde hair. No one can ever beat him. And, he’s not imaginary. 😉
First tweeted about this in response to a tweet ~5 years ago. This surely aged well for me.
